For those of you that don't know... my home life had been in turmoil for the past few months. Actually from the day I got out, there was nonstop confusion. I don't think this had anything to do with me, my character or my person's character; I actually blame the ordeal on the federal government.
They set out initially to send me to prison for 5 years. So imagine your life completely disrupted and put on hold for that amount of time. Then I was sent to a prison out in the wilderness; somewhere far so that all family ties could be suspended until further notice. I was placed, kidnapped actually; and forced to sit in a box on "Nowhere Island."
While in "Nowhere Island," I still have to survive, so I begin naturally making friends with other people who were in my predicament. So for 5 years, I'm forming new friendships, learning a whole new style of living; enduring my abandonment from society while praying and hoping that my friends and family remain safe until I can see them again.
My daughter... I love her to death. I was there for her the first year of her birth, everyday... but all of a sudden, I don't exist in her life for 5 years straight. She knew nothing about me when I got out! Ughhh!!! Imagine that!!!!!!!
O.K... and finally, I'm free from the federal clutches, but all of my relationships are damaged beyond repair. No matter how much or how hard I love, I should have known that even though we wanted our thing to stay solid- this type of stuff is deeper than the surface. This type of thing only goes well in books. Grow apart from someone for 5 years (while still in your 20s) and then reconnect and make it work? Cage a man up for 5 years (while still in his 20s) and expect him to get out and just sit down somewhere?
The only sit down period is immediately after release, because at that point society has confused you and you don't know which way to go. But once you take that first step, you'll end up sleeping only 2 hours a day while thinking to yourself: I only live once!!
It's difficult and complex, and no one's comment or comments would ever make sense unless they were me AND in my shoes.
Aside from my separation, life is good and I wish for it to continue being that way. All this does is makes me put more pressure on the pen. I swore to myself to make sure that Deja never has to worry about money or getting anything she wants. I'll spoil her even if we're living in two separate time zones.
Thanks to #TeamBankrollSquad for listening to me speak during my most difficult moments, as well as showing up with me to make my happiest moments happen. If you've never heard me say it before, I'll say it again... I love you TeamBRS!
-David Weaver
P.S. "The Union" by Tremayne Johnson is serioussss! May 18th!
Not in the same space as you but i can identify. My now 13 yo daughter has no memory of her father. He's been incarcerated for the past 12 yrs and has 2 more to go. I have been the friend on the outside providing support and wisdom during this time. I just hope he can come out and reenter society. It's going to be hard, but for the sake of our daughter I got his back no matter what.
ReplyDeleteKeep doing what ur doing, in the end it will get better. Keep communication open between the two of you and make sure that Deja stays #1 priority. Spoil her as much as you can!
We luv u too!!! #teambrs
Love you too. Even though things don't look good right now don't give up God will work it out. Keep your head up. TeamBRS
ReplyDeleteDavid I just wanted to let you know that I love you too. You seem to be a great man. Don't let this discourage you. As my dad always told me a setback is a setup for a comeback.So regardless of what is going on in your household things will look up for you. Your daughter knows that you love her and as she gets older she will realize just how much and how deep that love is. So keep your head up and know that Team Bank Roll Squad has your back always.
ReplyDeleteTiffany Huff
You took me back to a place that I haven't been in a while. As a women who "stayed down" with my high school sweetheart for 10 years, and he walked away the second day that he was out I can relate. We as women do not understand that the person that left us is not the same person that returns. I could go on forever but I will say I thank him for leaving yeah it hurt like hell, but all the catching up he had to do would have hurt a whole lot more if we had stayed together. You do what it best for you, the bond between a father and daughter is one that is so important it sets the standard for the type of men that she will allow in her life when she is an adult. And well with you as the father the bar is pretty damn high! I love you David and thank you for allowing me into your life.. #TeamBRS 4life
ReplyDeleteDavid, life takes us on such turns along the way. Deja and the pen will keep you on the right path...along with prayers! Stay civil and who knows what the future holds. Keep the FAITH and your head up...#teamWeaver
ReplyDeleteI'M GOING TO SPEAK BEEN THERE AND ON BOTH ENDS IT DOESN'T FEEL GREAT AT ALL SSSOOOO YOUR DEJA AND WRITING WILL MAKE THE PATCH WORK BETTER!!!! YOU'LL FIND SOMEONE TO TRULY LOVE YOU FOR YOU AND NOT THE FAME!!!
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