On this beautiful Monday... I wake up and lay back against the pillow in one of the most comfortable beds in the world. I glance at the vacant spot besides me, then get up and go into the bathroom. In the master bathroom there is a his and hers sink setup along with a huge mirror; shower or jacuzzi tub- your choice. I brush my teeth and gargle, wash my face and exit.
The walk in closet has all of my shoes lined up across two rows. All of my clothes are on the rack, and then there's an empty rack and space where a female's shoe used to be. There are 3 flat screens in my house, bedroom, living room, daughter's room. All of them are off- a first. There is no noise in my house.
I go into the living room and have a seat on the recliner... But it's so soft that I immediately find myself on the way back to la la land. When I wake up, things are still quiet. There is no one here but me. I look in the yard and see cars that belong to me- I look across the living room and see a 65 inch HD Plasma staring me down. The backyard has a trampoline-
Everything was purchased by grinding from the mud. Everything was bought legally and by sacrificing anything that would interfere with progress. Even though I was married, i was still unable to do what was asked of me when I got home from prison:
"Spend more time with me" "
I can't, I'm writing a book!"
"But you just put a book out!"
"I know! But I'm trying to take over the game! Just be patient, let me grind please! I'm trying to make sure we never have to worry about money again!"
"Man I feel like I wasted my time waiting on you while you were in prison!"
"How could you feel that way??? Look at what I'm doing! Look at the progress!!!"
"But life isn't about money!"
"Whattttt???? I'm living in my Mother's house with you and my daughter, I have to GRIND!"
"Whatever then! Are you choosing your career over your family?"
I remember that day clearly... I hesitated and swallowed as hard as possible, but the truth spoke from me....
"Yes."
I will not sacrifice my dreams or my progress. I will not take my foot off of the gas pedal. The position I'm in right now... it came by sacrificing everything except for my dream. I honestly gave up a lot... Friendship, family, free time-
But after being caged up for FIVE years in prison, all of my motivation had been bottled up and sitting in one spot. I had no CHOICE but to make it happen, put things in motion so that Deja has a better life than I did. I mean... I had been trying to stress these words: "Why are you tripping so much? We do spend time together, I know it's not a whole lot of time; but it's because I'm trying to build an empire. I mean seriously... I make more money in one month than a lot of people make in a year- already. I'm 8 months out of prison and in this position, so just let me build it bigger."
So now... I need help. Someone teach me how to use the dish washing machine. I also may need help from time to time with trying to figure out these recipes when I cook. I don't like folding clothes, so my closet is going to turn into just a storage area because the hangers will become irrelevant. I'm on my prison diet right now. Tuna and mayo, chips and water. I've started back working out, getting my body back; clearing my mind and writing more. I'm being my most creative right now- and I wouldn't trade it for the world.
The only thing I genuinely miss is my daughter. But things always work out- and especially when you expect them to.
~David Weaver
Now as much as I enjoy everything u have ever writting personal or not. There's no way u can choice a career over family. I completely understand the drive to make sure ur daughter has everything nd anything but Wats everything if ur to busy or not there? (Not saying u won't b) but a part time parent is just a part time. U have come such a long long way that its impossible for someone else to even dream that big. But u have accomplished it all in such a short time so I don't doubt for a second that if u put ur mind to it you can do what ever ur heart desires. But sometimes the little things are actually the most important ones. I'm sure there's more to the "house hold issues" then what u are letting out. It is ur personal life so need to go in to details but maybe just maybe u choose the wrong road. As much as all of your followers love you a million of randum people won't make up the love those two women would have shown to u. ;-)
ReplyDeleteOf course there's a lot more to it than what I'm saying, you're correct. And my decision stands. I got out and chose not to break the law full time- I chose to get us out of the poverty that we've been in our entire lives.
DeleteI don't feel like you have done anything wrong. People make sacrifices for the betterment of their family all the time..for example when a person has a family and chooses to become a police officer or even go to the army..that's a sacrifice. Family is suppose to SUPPORT you and be behind you 200% especially if what you are persuing is positive and beneficial to them in the long run. The fact that you have to be away from you family is very sad but imagine when you will be able to send your daughter to college and not have to worry about her getting federal student aide. Imagine all the positives that come out of the situation at hand...family is forever regardless...and yes u have numerous followers ((including me)) I'm not following u because I'm a groupie or want to be in the spotlight I'm following someone who is doing something POSITIVE someone who took a route in life that many other people ignore SUCCESS...my brothers have been to prison and went bakk and forth and are still lost in life..I'm following you because you have a story to tell and its interesting and I'm going to continue following your story as long as you write it I'm reading it...whether its in blog form..book form...message in a bottle whatever...
DeleteAnd by choosing that route I give u even more credit:; nd ur dicision is YOUR dicision. Taking ur family to a new life is what people can only dream of nd u have done it, but as u said ur big old home is empty! The house u worked for isn't filled with happy memories its not an empty bachelor pad nd that's NOT wat u worked for, maybe u just lost sight of things... But let me stop last thing I wanna do is bother u with my dumb none important comments...
ReplyDeleteI understand that men and women view life coherently. A lot of women will sacrifice money for family time. Most men place their worth on their income. Too many times we can't find a middle ground. If you need our help, we are here. Best advice I can give is to love yourself in spite of what you may view to be missteps in life. You have a beautiful soul that is full of talent. I don't think it is totally your need to provide that wouldn't let you stop writing, but a combination of that and your need to show Deja that you can do something honest and still make good money. That is important for everyone to realize. Be strong, but not so strong that you close off your heart to love.
ReplyDeleteThis is heart felt...real men establish homes for their families by any means necessary and if a woman can respect that then she's crazy. There are so many women complainting about a "no good" man but when they have one in their face its another story. God Bless you on you continued journey through success...there are HUGE things planned for you in your future and if someone is not riding with you leave them behind...you don't need any extra baggage...God Bless...Keep up the GREAT work #TeamBRS <3 Love Juiceey aka Jessica :-)
ReplyDeleteIn the end your daughter will understand that what you are doing is best for your family as a unit. Hopefully your wife will understand that as well and it doesn't lead straight to divorce, just a little cooling off time. I'm sure that it has to be hard for her to not want the most time as possible to make up for the amount of time you both spent separated. I'm sure it's a huge adjustment. It'll work out, keep doing what you're doing. Don't lose sight on what's best.
ReplyDeleteAnd if u need help with using the dishwasher holla, we got you. And take your clothes to the dry cleaners or i know in SC they have laundromats where they wash n fold your clothes for you. I'm sure you got that in GA.
David keep your head up I don't ubderstand,why if she stood by you for 5yrs that she would give up now. Women amaze me and me being a women say this because if I dedicate,4yrs I would never give up now. I understand she wanted more but she still should have stayed by your side. I,know if you explain it to your daughter she will understand. No one should ever ask someone to give up their dream instead they should stand beside you and encourage you to do everything to help make that dream a reality. Much love
ReplyDeleteI know how easy it is for a hustler to go right back to hustling once being released from prison! Which is why I applaud you every single chance I get..its easy for someone to suggest that you choose your family over career however in this case should you not and end up reverting back to the streets...you have a greater chance of going back to the streets...then what was the point? I think you made the right choice because in the end you need someone who will support you!
ReplyDeleteI'm praying for better days as you go through your journey. It was a pleasure to be able to meet such an understanding person. One thing that can not be taken away from a daughter is the love she has for her father. It will get better you're not perfect but storms don't last forever. You'll be in my prayers Mr. Weaver :~)....K.S
ReplyDeleteI just read all of your Bankroll, Love Story, Lipstick and I was so intrigued and begging for the sequel that I chose to like you on FB so I could keep up with the new books you write. I fell into this page and the first thing I read was Career or Family and being a woman who didnt have her dad, for other reasons, knows what it feels like to yearn for Daddy. There should never be a choice, you can do it all, its all about time management and realizing one can't exist without the other. one is not more important than the other. Push as hard as possible but don't lose sight of WHY your doing this. Time waits for no one and you definitely don't want the next man to teach your daughter the values that only you can teach her, her first love should be you. Shelita
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