For those of you that don't know... my home life had been in turmoil for the past few months. Actually from the day I got out, there was nonstop confusion. I don't think this had anything to do with me, my character or my person's character; I actually blame the ordeal on the federal government.
They set out initially to send me to prison for 5 years. So imagine your life completely disrupted and put on hold for that amount of time. Then I was sent to a prison out in the wilderness; somewhere far so that all family ties could be suspended until further notice. I was placed, kidnapped actually; and forced to sit in a box on "Nowhere Island."
While in "Nowhere Island," I still have to survive, so I begin naturally making friends with other people who were in my predicament. So for 5 years, I'm forming new friendships, learning a whole new style of living; enduring my abandonment from society while praying and hoping that my friends and family remain safe until I can see them again.
My daughter... I love her to death. I was there for her the first year of her birth, everyday... but all of a sudden, I don't exist in her life for 5 years straight. She knew nothing about me when I got out! Ughhh!!! Imagine that!!!!!!!
O.K... and finally, I'm free from the federal clutches, but all of my relationships are damaged beyond repair. No matter how much or how hard I love, I should have known that even though we wanted our thing to stay solid- this type of stuff is deeper than the surface. This type of thing only goes well in books. Grow apart from someone for 5 years (while still in your 20s) and then reconnect and make it work? Cage a man up for 5 years (while still in his 20s) and expect him to get out and just sit down somewhere?
The only sit down period is immediately after release, because at that point society has confused you and you don't know which way to go. But once you take that first step, you'll end up sleeping only 2 hours a day while thinking to yourself: I only live once!!
It's difficult and complex, and no one's comment or comments would ever make sense unless they were me AND in my shoes.
Aside from my separation, life is good and I wish for it to continue being that way. All this does is makes me put more pressure on the pen. I swore to myself to make sure that Deja never has to worry about money or getting anything she wants. I'll spoil her even if we're living in two separate time zones.
Thanks to #TeamBankrollSquad for listening to me speak during my most difficult moments, as well as showing up with me to make my happiest moments happen. If you've never heard me say it before, I'll say it again... I love you TeamBRS!
-David Weaver
P.S. "The Union" by Tremayne Johnson is serioussss! May 18th!